Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 50: You Wouldn’t Like Me

Spending these last few days tracking down Umbreon in Goldenrod has been hard enough.  There’s a long trail of evils left in his wake, and keeping up with his maddening pace for spreading darkness has left me dead tired.  This morning I woke up to the smell of burnt flesh.  A body, still warm from the fire, had been set down next to me.  The skin charred black, what appeared to be a drilled-out hole in each temple.  My gut wrenched at the sight and the smell.  A warning?  Umbreon hasn’t hurt me yet.  Probably some part of Eeveon still inside it, holding him back.  But will that continue on?  Starting off with something this heinous shows how strong Umbreon is. 

A shout pounding off the brick walls of an alley, I took off in that direction, unsure of what to do.  Pokéballs don’t have any effect, he’s learned to escape.  A Mantine is laying on top of a trainer, crushing him.  The water pokémon is dying as well, suffocating in the air.  By the time Lickitung uses Strength and pushes the flopping wet pile of flesh away the body has stopped moving.  If I keep appearing around bodies the Jennies will start to notice.  I take out the open pokéball and return the Mantine to his home, safe.  I can take it for now, until I find a place for it.  The moment I pick it up it disappears in a flash of light, off to my computer.  This is confusing.  With Espeon dead this should only make six.  Is she still alive? 

Continuing to search around, I run into Purple, who was staring confusedly at a puddle in the road.  Touching him on the shoulder to say hello, he instantly jumps up, stares me straight in the face with these dull, distant eyes and hands me a gray river stone, saying:

“This is a normal stone.  I got it from my dad, who totally works at Nintendo and I’m not lying about that, he totally does!”  I had to assure him that I believed him before he would continue.  “When the forces of life are torn asunder, it is by the power of this stone that the universe’s will shall be carried out.  Keep it safe, and equilibrium shall be yours…” 

I questioned him if he knew what ‘equilibrium’ meant, but an intense look graced his face and he ran off yelling “I have to poop!” 

From what I can see this stone doesn’t look terribly special.  It’s a very normal looking stone, smoothed over by the rush of water, painted by eons of formation a light gray.  In fact, it might be too normal.  But his words were so cryptic, and yet so completely relevant to my situation.  I’ll let this go for now.  I threw the stone in my pocket and continued my quest. 

Continuing on now would be futile, I’m far too tired to deal with any threat Umbreon could pose.  I found a small hovel to spend the night in.  Hopefully I’m not joined by any unwanted guests.

Beaten down,
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

P.S. I just noticed Purple's post.  WHAT DID YOU SEE!?

Purple, Johto Day 50: The Tale Of How I Am Telling You What I Am Doing

When I last visited Goldenrod City, I was defeated by the Gym Leader Whitney (who is incredibly pretty despite being so normal). I was able to defeat Birdboy and Bugirlboy so easily! Why is she such so powerful compared to them? Maybe she is actually the strongest Gym Leader in Johto and was put in a town you see early on in the game to develop a plot twist that she is actually the leader of a mafia organization? Does she have seperate pokemon that she uses on more powerful challengers to balance out the difficulty of the game to create an interactive expierence and gives reason for certain Gym Leaders to be so incompetly weak compared to others? What could her secret be!? I must find out!

On my way over to the Gym I saw Trainer Andrew ♂ and Miss Lickitung (who, if I may be so bold to say it, was looking pretty good (for a pokemon (Dat Tounge))) doing something important (I could tell it was important because they weren't going to town on each others faces, gambling, and/or drinking, which after being with them on the S.S. Anne for so long, I have learned is the only thing they actually do). I figured now would be a good time to give him a special item for his Eevee (which I hope he didn't go ahead and train during Twilight hours forcing it to evlove into both Espeon and Umbreon, which would split it's personality into two halves: Good and Evil (I just noticed I use parenthesis a lot (another one for fun~)))! This item is called the Normal Stone that my dad discovered while working at Nintendo (and not an Evil Organization by the name of Team Missile who were rivals to Team Rocket but they really sucked so they were all killed off which would explain why both of my parents are dead, but no that would be really dumb, especially if that somehow got a legendary poke, such as Rayquaza, into the mix. WORKS OF FICTION. DUMB FICTION.), which allows an Eevee to evolve into Double Eeveon (it totally exists by the way), or it could even reverse the silly situation I mention earlier if it were to ever happen (and it wouldn't).

I walked up to Trainer Andrew ♂ and punched him in the gut (I actually handed him the stone while doing this (it had to be done this way so the Jennys wouldn't see (the Normal Stone may or may not be crystalized Energy Powder (which may or may not be Cocaine))), and whispered into his ear, "We must awaken the sleeping Birds, my brother." I don't know why I said it, but I thought it would be funny (it wasn't).

Uh oh, I forgot what I was doing. I'll try again tomorrow.


Catch You Later!
Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Victorious

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 46: On the Dark Side

This is bad, this is very, very bad.  Actually, something like this goes into another scale!  I can’t even compare something of this magnitude to anything I’ve witnessed previously, I’ll have to take this into a whole new realm of faux pas that hasn’t even truly been created yet!  This is ninth circle, I’m not exaggerating here, real apokelypse stuff going on.

All of Cherrygrove City: demolished.  The buildings were charred outlines of their previous locations, with perhaps a few sorry metal beams sticking from the ground like headstones all in a row.  Even the pokémon center had its roof collapsed in on the rest of the building, which burst dust and drywall out like an explosion to spread across everything in the area and left the air horrible and hard to choke down.  People waited under blankets like helpless newborns, their eyes all wide and glossy as they meekly passed around bits of food that they’d manage to save or slowly petted their children’s heads, coaxing them into nightmare-filled dreams. 

Two people were killed, a man and a woman, and their bodies were flayed and hung crucifixion-style on the northern route.  Their jaws were open, dried blood, now black, marked down their chests and their eyes were empty sockets where Murkrow had plucked out the jellied treats.  Beyond even that horror, their entrails were unraveled from within their guts to wrap around the sticks beneath them, morose maypoles to celebrate this orgy of the damned.

And all this horror, this putrid awfulness, it was all carried out by the people’s own hands. 

Umbreon did this, that heartless thing.  Espeon and he were far too connected, more so than he could possibly have imagined, thus her death could only have hurt him.  He’s going to die soon, true, but in his death throws his influence has risen to such awful heights that scenes like Cherrygrove could happen.  This town can never return to the way it was.

I have just finished my trek through Violet City.  Umbreon must be on the move, or he would not have left it as pristine as this.  Although, buried, hidden away from the public eye, there are signs of his voyage through.  A stabbing in a back alley.  A Gyrados unleashed in a Woman’s bathroom.  Two Heracrosses mating in the middle of the road.  Some would see this as random acts of vandalism, but that’s how Cherrygrove began as well.

This is my fault too.  I knew what was happening, but I did nothing to stop it.  When things had escalated to the point where the killings began, stopping Umbreon would have been impossible, not if I’d wanted to save my own neck.  As I did not stop him then, I will have to stop him now, and as I do not seek retribution for my actions, the least I can offer some sort of hope to the world. 

He’s heading toward Goldenrod, the largest city in the area.  That many people… I shudder to think what might happen. 

I just saw a pink flash behind a tree, I think the spirit of Espeon must be with me.  I shall need it.

The reckoning has come,

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

P.S. Turns out it was just Lickitung going to the bathroom.  I feel less supported now.

Purple, Johto Day 45: The Tale Of How I Had Fun In The Jungle

Okay, so it was actually a forest, but jungle fun is so much more fun. There were a bunch a these cool trees that when you HEADBUTT them (I think that may be a Pokemon move, but I seem to be able to do it just fine! (OH GOD GUYS, I JUST REALIZED THAT I MAY HAVE POKEMON DNA FROM TAKING THAT RIDE IN THE POKEMON CENTER MACHINE AFTER I CUT MY PENIS OFF IN CELADON SO I COULD FIGHT ERIKA (that sounds kinda dumb now that I have typed it out in all capitals, so it's probably just a case of me being such a good Pokemon Trainer that the pokemon have allowed me to learn their moves!))) pokemon tumble out sometimes, and it was so much fun to do that I may have spent the last few days doing. All of the Pokemon looked pretty weak so I didn't bother with them, but there were 2 I caught that seemed interesting: Stache the Heracross and Pokemon Andrew (Aipom) the Aipom.

I named Stache like I did because he looked like if he were to grow a moustache, it would be pretty bitchin'.

I named Pokemon Andrew (Aipom) like I did because when I saw him I could have sworn it spoke to me, something about  how Trainer Andrew ♂ and I were destined to awake the sleeping legends of Johto, that didn't strike me as too odd as Pokemon say weird things all the time (the Paras in Ilex Forest have potty mouths by the way). I guess saying "I named Pokemon Andrew (Aipom) like I did..." followed by what I told you doesn't make much sense now that I think about it, the actual reason I named him that way was that his tuft of hair reminded me of my bestest good buddy in the world: Koff Koff. Unfortunately, Koff Koff is already the name of one of my pokemon, so I figured Trainer Andrew ♂ wouldn't mind a little bastardization on his name (that's what are friends for anyways)!

As I made my way to the exit, I was jumped by a pokemon! It was a Poliwhirl that hopped out of the small pond by the exit! This guy had something in his eyes that made me want to send out Garfunkel (My Magmar, just in case you forgot that he existed like I did), and I couldn't have been anymore correct.The two walked over to each other, then rather than blasting each other with magic (which was lame by the way), they shook hands and gave a look of "Hey dude, I know we won't always  agree all the time but (for now) I think we should be best friends and do pokemon stuff together". I don't know, the look was pretty vague (maybe they were hungry?) but that's what I got from it.

I caught that Poliwhirl, and I gave him the only name that came to mind: Simon. Anyways, I am getting close to Goldenrod, so I am going to check out my new pokemon.


Catch You Later!
Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Victorious

Pink Joy, Day 43: A New Dawn, A new Name, A New City… fooooorrrr me… and I feeeeeeeeeeel… like watching a tower burn.

'Tis a funny thing when one's life is thrown into the abyss of madness, when life and death dance together in a bizarre Horsea of Bulbasaur.

I really need to stop eating these pills.  They put my PP up though, I'm not really sure what this is.

By the way…

I chose my Pokémon.

I hope you are happy with my choice.

Also…

Something happened.  Something… odd.  Where am I?

This isn't New Bark Town, it's Violet City… and there's a tower on fire.  I'm going to go watch the people and Pokémon burn.

Nurse Pink Joy McQueen - A patient of the Noire era, of LA, cos LA Noire… for the reference.

THE WIT OF PURPLE (TIME-LOCK PART 2)

It had been many a year (according to him, it had actually been 9 days time) since Purple had been locked away to

toil within the shrine of Celebi. No matter how much he struggled, the door proved to have max ivs, max evs, and a beneficial nature in the Not Being Opened stat (doors have different stat layouts than Pokemon do (although they grow in a similar way (it's the base code of the universe you see (don't tell anybody that I told you (it would be very rude of you))))).

“THIS PLACE IS SO FUCKING CRAMPED. I AM SO HUNGRY. LIVING HURTS IN HERE.” Purple whined (like a bitch).

He knew he had to escape or his life would end here (don't worry folks, he'll makes it out fine and goes on to live a nice life, settles down, and is never seen by anybody ever again)! But what was this Gitimall to do? How could he, silly ol' Purple Gitimall, do to outwit Celebi, the Time Traveling Guardian of the Forest?!

Well he may of not known it himself, but thanks to the way Celebi executed it's prank, Purple had a chance. Celebi had frozen time within his own time-line, creating an alternate time-line where the universe exists without Purple Gitimall, but if you were to ignore that time-line, and instead focus on returning the march of time to the frozen time-line, then he would have a chance! Unfortunately though, Purple Gitimall does not think in terms eloquent enough to figure such a situation out and then be able to solve it.

But thanks to that magical quality that has kept our friend alive for so long (dumb-luck), he had started to forge the beginnings of his escape whether he knew it or not! He had shimmied into a position where he had access to his laptop where he discovered some of the effects of Celebi's Prank.

“How am I supposed to get Trainer Andrew ♂ and/or Pink to come save me if the blog won't let me post (it claims that my time-stream code is incorrect! Since when did I need one of those to put a post up!)!”
So he did what any Gitimall would: he avoided the problem all together by creating a new blog. This action, while freeing up his inability to post, also created a new new time-stream for all of us to coexist in (although all of his old friends are forever frozen in time, nobody will notice though, so the good guys protagonists win). Exciting, if I do say so myself.

The shrine doors burst open and with their violent outburst Purple came tumbling out.

“Oh. I guess I just needed to hit it harder. Well, time to go to Goldenrod and never mention this ever again. Good bye Celebi! I hope we meet again (even though I hate you just a little bit (only the tiniest bit though))!”
Purple walked on for a bit, and then looked back at the shrine, mostly oblivious to what had actually just happened.

“Come on Koff Koff! If you stay behind I'll never get you to evolve (again)!”

Well, that's my cue to go. It's been fun regaling this tale to you in real-time. I was even more fun learning to type with my face. Catch you later, Storylovers!
 

Koff Koff, the Koffing (formally Weezing)

THE PRANK OF CELEBI (TIME-LOCK)

Still in hiding after his misadventures in Azalea Town, Purple Gitimall stumbles upon a medium sized shrine dedicated to the Guardian Deity of Ilex Forest. He looks upon it, not understanding the meaning of such an object of course, and scratches his chiny-chin-chin.

“I suppose I could hide in here, it's better than trying to hide behind that stupid Farfetch'd (it keeps running away whenever I get close!)...” he spoke aloud and thought to himself.

This boy is a strange one, I am sure we all can agree, but that fact withstanding he has achieved many things that people with a head full of sanity could never even dream of. Why is he as capable as he is? Why, even I do not know the answer to that! I'm sorry, I've rambled on for far too long, let me finish regaling you with the story.
Ignoring the signs asking for prayers and offerings for the forest (and even a warning or two!), Purple climbed into the shrine, closing the hatch behind him. He thought himself safe from the Jennys, and for once, he was correct. No Jenny, Joy, nor angry Gym Leader would ever think to look inside the Shrine of Celebi as they had heard the story of the Wrath of Celebi. Of course Purple, who loves Johto culture (even if he doesn't understand how to respect it) had heard this story too, but I'm sure it is not a surprise to anyone that Purple either didn't remember or doesn't understand how to apply things he knows into his everyday life.
What's the Wrath of Celebi you ask? Well, it's less wrath-like and more of a prank, straight out of the pages of the book of Whimiscott the Prankster God. It probably should be referred to as the Prank of Celebi (and for convenience, we will). Upon closing himself inside the shrine, which is a fixed moment in time, Celebi has locked the door to the shrine, leaving Purple locked outside of time itself. This would be a death sentence, were it not for Celebi's fun loving nature (Jolly, perhaps?).

Purple Gitimall, the “Pokemon Trainer Victorious”, must figure out how to open the shrine door from the inside. Call a friend, you say? That's the fun part, the time stream has been split. Time as you know it will go on, but the world of Purple Gitimall has halted. Sure, there is a time stream where Pokeblog Adventures marches on, but it marches on without Purple. Will Purple be able to break the Time-Lock, the Prank of Celebi? Find out next time on Pokeblog Adventures!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 35: Brother, My Brother

I’m scared to let Umbreon and Espeon out of their pokéballs.  I tried just letting Espeon out, but then I felt really bad about not having Umbreon there, so I sent him out as well.  When that didn’t go so well, I just sent Umbreon out, but then I felt like sending Espeon out just to see the fighting continue.  It never stops!

So now I’ve got their two pokéballs sitting on the bed while I stare at them from my chair.  Apparently sensing that they’re close to each other, those two are rocking around like madmen.  I suppose I could just lock them away in a PC, but that’s far too much like giving up.  I’m a living manifesto for doing the right thing (or at least I try to be), so giving up on my poor pokémon like that is just cruel. 

But this fighting!  Just because one is pure good and one pure evil, does that necessarily make one better than the other?  Without goodness in the world, things would descend into chaos, and yet without evil there would be no standard for good to exist.  I think both need to act as balancing forces for the other.

There must be a way, I cannot quit.  Just, tell me, what are we fighting for?  We got to end this war.  We should love one another, so can’t we just pretend this war never began?  We face each other from different sides, the anger burns, but we can’t remember why.  It’s crazy to face this pain, our foolish pride makes us hate this way.  Tell me why…

I’m having a severe déjà vu attack,
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Purple, Johto Day 35: The Tale Of How I Defeated The Bug Master

Azalea Gym, the bug specialist gym. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god, I'm going to kick everyone's ass here, no prob. What the hell is this spider thing? This wasn't here in the Johto's Visitors Guide I read everynight before bed... Well I better give it a shot-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

IT'S TAKING ME AROUND THE ROOM. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. DO NOT LIKE AT ALL.

Sorry you had to see hear read that, it was very traumatizing for me. Well I think I understand how this spider-cart thing works now so I'll give it another shot-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I STILL DO NOT LIKE THIS.

Man, I threw up my lunch. I don't have enough money to get new food, so I suppose my only option is to eat it again. It was so much effort to eat that a first time and now I have to do it again! Life is hard for me.

“Oh Celebi man, have some decency! Please stop eating your puke! Oh come on, I am not allowed to move from this spot on my honor as a Gym Leader! I WANT TO LOOK AWAY BUT I CANNOT!”
Upon looking up I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen (aside from those Gardevoirs, meow (that's actually very creepy, I retract that statement)), and instantly recognized who she was; She was Bugsy, the Azalea Gym Leader!

“I love you Pretty Lady Girl, may I perform sex upon you?” I asked while putting on the smoulder.

“Dude, I have a penis like you. I don't swing that way. Are we going to battle or not?” replied Bugsy, trying to be hard to get.

Ohohohoho, I see what's going on, she is one of Johto's coveted Girls who have Penises. If I want to perform the sex, I must prove my dominance in a Pokemon Match! Truly, the mating rituals of Johto are amazing.

I sent out Pearl the Sunflora and ordered her to start charging a Solarbeam, so I could defeat her entire team in a single attack. As it turns out, things do not work that way because her Scyther X-Scissor'd Pearl to death. Or fainting. Like I've said before, they're quite similar.

I reached for my belt and sent out Giggles the Quagsire. After I murdered King Steven Bradley, I figured I would need a new water Pokemon and Giggles seemed pretty happy about joining my team. I have high hope for Giggles!

Fun fact: Giggles typing (Water/Ground) makes him immune to electric attacks! But in return, he has a 4 times weakness to Grass. It turns out, Bugsy knows how typing works as she had Scyther trip Giggles, and with the Gym floor being covered in grass, Giggles was defeated instantly.

I would not take this! Pearls and Giggles are beautiful Pokemon from the Land of the Rising Solrock! THE GREATEST REGION EVER CREATED! I will not allow my lust for this girl (who needs to stop claiming to be male, it's a giant turn off) to distract me from kicking her ass! It's time to enact the plan!

Sending out Koff Koff, I issued the command:

“Koff Koff use Autotomize!”

“Hold up dude”, said Bugsy, “that is a Steel move, intended for Steel type Pokemon and a few select others. I don't think Weezing can learn it. Plus, that move makes a Pokemon shed useless parts of it's body! What useless part is there on a Weezing?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh.”
Despite this, Koff Koff followed the command. He struggled with all of his might and with a mighty plop, his second head fell off.

“Congratulations, dumbass. Your KOFF KOFF unevolved into KOFFING!” chuckled Bugsy.

I was so mad. Not at Koff Koff, it wasn't his fault. At this Bugsy girl. She had put me through much pain and agner that I couldn't take it anymore. I flipped in the air, landing in a handstand position and released a Hyperbeam from my mouth and a Bubblebeam from my butt that supplemented the power of the Hyperbeam (by popping on contact the energy from the beam) which destroyed her Scyther in one hit. Bugsy was at a loss to comprehend what had just happened, but I was able to snap her back to reality by unzipping my pants and speaking the following:

“Ha! I have brought down your Scyther! Send out your next Pokemon!”

“Naw man, the rest of my Pokemon suck. Just take the Hive Badge and get out.”

And then I deflowered Bugsy. Sex is different than what I thought it was, alot more biting (on Bugsy's part (it's like she didn't want to have it!) and crying (on both of our parts, I just loved her so much!). I think I'll avoid it from now on.

Catch You Later!

Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Vitorious

P.S: If anybody needs me, I am hiding out in Ilex Forest. For some reason the Jennys are mad at me. They said something about “Sexual Assualt' charges. People have sex with Girls with Penises all the time after beating them in a Pokemon Battle in Anime! These Jennys are sooooo Kanto.

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 34: War for Peace

Snapped out of my general malaise.  Realized it was Espeon and Umbreon who have been causing my emotional swings.  Upon reflection this was actually painfully obvious.

And now they’re in this massive, horrible battle to the death!  It’s a violent, evil scene, and I can barely stand here with Lickitung and do nothing while they battle.  This is just too much to deal with!  Each side battles for their noble truth.  An all-powerful force against an unmovable object.  It’s a cataclysmic scene of massive proportions which will decide not only the fate of my own soul, but perhaps the very course of existence! 

Good and evil, light and dark, black and white, who will be the victor?  Which side will emerge from the broken heap of bodies and crushed dreams!?

Though, kind of taking some heat out of the battle, it turns out that these two have some sort of psychic or spiritual connection which ties them together.  As such, when one strikes a blow against the other, they feel it themselves.  Really it kind of comes down to them standing there Quick Attacking each other and then resting for a few minutes before the other gathers up enough power to attack.  But I’ve been feeling dramatic.

In any case, I must stop them from doing this before one of them gets hurt.  Even though Umbreon might be the incarnation of pure evil, he’s still my pokémon.  And even though Espeon made me lose a lot of money so that I didn’t get a dinner last night (yeah, I guess it did go to a worthy cause), she too is my pokémon. 

I am a pokémon Trainer dammit, and so it’s my job to take care of MY pokémon! 

Just realized I could put them back in their balls, so I did that.  Problem solved.

For now.

So now what do I do?
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 33: The Emptiness

I didn’t do anything special yesterday, so I thought I might as well not bother with a post. 

Both Espeon and Umbreon are with me today, and everything has just been… if the color gray were a feeling, I would be that.  I’ve no real inclinations toward anything.  Once the idea comes up to do something I can’t decide if I should do it or not.

Work was no more boring than interesting.  The kids that come to me may or may not be open to learning things.  It all depends.

I’m not sure why this is a more worthy post than me putting up nothing.  Actually, all my posts probably aren’t that interesting.  Or they might be, people read them.  Eh, whatever.

I really want vanilla ice cream.  Does anybody really want vanilla ice cream?  That has been my only craving all day.

Espeon and Embreon have started fighting.  I hope one wins.  Or they could both lose.  Either way something happens.

That’s all I have,                                                          
 Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Purple, Johto Day 31: The Tale Of How I Became Pokemon Trainer Victorious

Thanks to a suggestion from Anon Y. Mous, I found a way to regain my honor! He/she suggested I walk to the opposite end of the cave and back! People of the internet are so smart! I wanted to make sure I got my honor back in full, so I spent the last 2 days making my back and forth through Union Cave. I have seen so many Zubats.

SO. MANY. MOTHERFUCKING. ZUBATS.

So yeah, honor restored, Pokemon Trainer Victorious, everything is good again.

I now stand on the grassy knoll right beside Azalea Town, and the entirety of the town is within my sight. The Pokecenter, the Pokemart, the Pokegym, the Pokeball Maker, all of these beautiful buildings made for humans like me. Yup. All of those things are nice and all, but I am not interested in them at the moment. This is what I am interested in! Slowpoke Well. So majestic, with all of its... majesty.

My bag started to wiggle and waggle and out popped Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley.

“I say oldboy, were you trying to keep me away from this artifact of my people's oppression? Whether this to be an attempt to protect my psyche or to limit the dabbling I am able to do to bring about the betterment of my people's social status through revolution, either way, I will require a fortnight within this dwelling. I know we've had our differences in the past, but would you please join me in a moment of remembrance?” said the stupid fucking Slowkingbro (for those of you who do not remember, two Shellders bit my Slowpoke's head and tail at the same time, creating this abomination).

I stood beside Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley, he had his eyes closed and bowed his head as he offered his thoughts to the Slowpokes below.

There was a rumbling. A not so far off rumbling. It got louder, and closer until...

A horde of Slowpokes burst through the trees behind us and formed the ultimate stampede. Hundreds and hundreds of Slowpokes were rushing at Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley and I at an alarmingly fast speed (for Slowpokes anyway).

In reaction to the Slowpede, I grabbed Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley and hurdled ourselves out of the way. Granted, it was very easy to avoid, and I'm sure if we had briskly walked, we could have been around them without too much effort on our part, but what was done was done.

“You.. you saved me. You know, I thought you were nothing but a low class neer-do-well who viewed an intellectual as myself like a Beastly-Pet-Slave. Purple Gitimall, for the first time since my detainment and inaction into your services, I am proud to be your Pokemon.”

“Oh yeah sure”.

And then I kicked him into the well.

“PURPLE! Master! Help me!” cried Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley as he clung to the stone wall of the well for his life.

I got to my knees, looked into the Kingbro's eyes with the look of the Pokemon Trainer Vitorious, and in one movement, I slammed my hands upon his, making sure my claws dug deep (pretend here guys), and with the transformation of straight face into a sly grin, I whispered...

“Long.”

“Live.”

“The.”

“King.”

And then I dropped him. He probably died.

Catch You Later!

Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Victorious

P.S: I killed him cause he was a douche.

P.S.S: Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, I paid off the slowpokes to charge at us so I could put my plan of kicking Captain McI'mDeadNow AKA The Former King Steven Bradley into the well into action. I hid it really well by not mentioning it at all. Pretty smart, if you ask me.

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 31: Everything’s Coming Up Roselias

I’m afraid I did a horrible thing last night.  An evil, vile, dreadful thing I’m going to be regretting for a long time.  Though I can’t imagine why I did it, I burned down Mr. Pokémon’s house!  I feel awful, just completely terrible.  I know I said some rather hurtful things about the man, but that doesn’t mean I hate him or anything, I was just off on a tiff or something. 

Umbreon got hurt in the fire, and as soon as the flames lapped him I sort of snapped into what was going on.  I ran back home to get a burn heal on him, calling the Jennies and anonymously reporting the fire when I’d finished.  So Umbreon had to rest in his pokéball all day.  I hope he doesn’t mind it too much.  From what Purple said I don’t think it’s terribly nice in there. 

But Espeon was with me, and I just began to feel so awful about what I’d done that I couldn’t loaf around for a moment longer.  Dragging Lickitung along with me, though not necessarily telling her everything, I went by Mr. Pokémon’s house to offer my services in helping him with the repairs.  He seemed guarded at first, a fair response considering my actions yesterday, but after a little bit I proved that my intentions were true.  Espeon even helped out a bit, moving boards and tools around with her powers.  With all four of us helping, the damages were fixed in no time flat. 

Although I never told Mr. Pokémon I had started the fire, I still felt my conscience nipping at my heels.  So I went back home, gathered up all of my money that I’d saved, and slid it under his door.  It’s nice to give to others.  I think tomorrow I’ll go over and cook dinner for him.  I guess that would require buying food though… oh well, I can scrounge something up if I put my noggin to the grindstone.

I know I usually don’t take many pauses when writing, but I simply must do so right now, as there is a gentleman asking for me.

…

Never mind about that, he simply wanted to mug me.  Lucky that I didn’t have any money.  I hope I can get somebody to loan me a new pair of pants, mine were just taken.

I’m sure he needed them more than me,
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂